It's all about energy, and I think of mine as a battery which becomes recharged when I spend time on my own, but decreases as I use energy up on people. That sounds horrible, I know, and I'm not saying people are a drain, but that's how it feels sometimes. Though I'd happily spend say, two thirds of my waking hours alone, don't think for a minute I'm some nutty, anti-social weirdo, because when I'm with the right people, I have a great time. I can be loud and talkative, witty and warm, but because of this friendly social time my energy levels deplete down, and then I need some chill out time on my own again.
It's in these moments I crave quiet, without the distraction of conversation, and me needing to respond to someone I can recharge, relax, find my centre as it were, and simply re-connect with me. I know some people find mingling with others their power charge, but I have the kind of mind which doesn't stop buzzing at the best of times, and it doesn't pause when others are around so though I can't stop my mind from chattering away, I can remove the buzz of others and having that time out with just me and my mile-a-minute brain is what I need to have proper down time.
One of my major pet-peeves is small-talk, not the kind of small-talk you have with a friend you haven't seen in a while to get yourselves back into a deep conversation, but the kind which is used to fill silence. You know what I'm talking about, you hear it everywhere. From restaurants, to shops, to random people on the bus, it's as if society has the compulsion to fill any void with the sound of their voice. Subjects include, but are not limited to:
- The Weather: (as a British person I do like talking about the weather myself, but not with random strangers!), "Oh it's raining again", "Isn't it hot today", "Heard there's a storm coming"!
- The Traffic: "There's been another accident", "Did you hear about the queues on the M-whatever", "There's road works down by the shop so everything's slow today". Oh god I've flat-lined!!!
- The obligatory How are you: "Same old, same old", "Can't complain", "Yeah, good". They don't really want to know how you are, and you only offer these responses as a knee-jerk reaction.
- The Clichéd filler saying: And to top off any and all situation there's always "That's always the way isn't it"!
People who monopolise your time, without pre-planning. I'm not saying introverts aren't spontaneous, and if we're out having a great time and someone suggests going on somewhere and we want to go, then great. No I'm talking about the people who make you think you'll only be hanging out for a set time and then just stay without consulting you.
- The guest: So you've invited someone around to your place, and you've mentioned an end time, either verbally, by text or in an invite (depending on the event), the designated end time approaches. Now most great guests remember this, say they're making a move, book a taxi ect, or some just need a little nudge, all they need is you maybe clearing a few glasses to take the hint and they're gone. But the ones I can't stand are the one's who get utterly ensconced in your home. No subtle hint or otherwise will move this person, and if you're like me, I plan my day in my head, plan what I'll do before and after I see people. So when guests outstay their welcome it irritates me just a bit, because though it might be just a Netflix binge I had in mind for that free time, these time burglars are cutting into it!
- The Let's-make-a-day-of-it Person: You know the type, you make plans to go and hang out, and it's been decided that you'll be grabbing a meal, or seeing a film or going shopping, ect. But in my introverted mind what's mentioned I see as the plans, and like I said before any time around those plans I see am me time. But this person doesn't know that so after say the meal, they may mention going on somewhere else, but they don't really ask you if you want to go, it's more suggested that you are going with them to this new venue, you feel rude saying no, and as you haven't mentioned being busy later that day you don't have a get out clause so they assume you're free, what's the big deal. But like I said, time has been ear-marked, for yes, you guessed it, chill out time on your own. My main thing with theses people is just say it's going to be an all day thing, then in my mind I can wipe out this time and leave plenty of free time the next day to recover from all this forced socialising!
Introversion and writing:
I do feel I write more because I am an introvert, this may be not the same for others, but I know it is for me. I myself am not an open book, what a contradiction for a writer! But I do find it hard to open up to people, to get my thoughts out, and writing things down, putting pen to paper or finger to laptop, just lets it flow. And even though some of the people who read my work, I could quite easily talk to them in real life (eg friends and family). I find the unjudging, blank page so refreshingly calm to portray my thoughts and feelings. I also like to think I put a lot of myself into my work too, because of this sometimes slight lack of connection I have with others. Almost as if people who normally come up against a wall with me get to glimpse behind a brick or two and get a glimmer of the inner me!
Definition of an introvert:
And if you're still a bit muddled about what an Introvert is, this vid sums it up nicely.....
- SARA -
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